#2 – Fantasy

Dear Doctor Query:  Please look at my letter below.  Please also be kind.

JAVELIN PLANET is a 130,000 word fantasy that features an amazing world of superhuman sports competitors.  Rolf, 23, and Lea, 19, are in love.  They want to marry and raise a family together.  But first, they have to win the right to mate.

In their time, mating is allowed only to a few elite of each generation who have proven that they have DNA worth preserving.  Of the select members of the population who are permitted to reproduce, all will be successful — for they have such healthy, perfect bodies that fertility is a non-issue.  And the offspring of these superior humans will then be cloned thousands of times over, thereby repopulating the planet.

Super Athlete Quelch, an old “friend” of Lea’s family, is running this year’s international competition.  Lea wins the decathlon after nearly having her achilles tendon severed by an arch-rival, a woman named Amandine who wants Rolf for her own.  But can Rolf, weakened by what looks like long-term poisoning, make it to the finish line of the super-marathon?  If not, his beloved will be given to S.A. Quelch as a mate.  Quelch, who has coveted Lea’s mother before her, is too old to run.  But he’s got the DNA that qualifies him to reproduce.

And he’s got the power.

My background is in sports medicine, and I’m a marathoner myself.  I’d love to send you some pages so that you can see my writing style.

Thank you for your consideration.

Doctor Query finds your submission refreshingly streamlined and free of excess verbiage.  This is a good concept, with both thriller and fantasy elements.

You didn’t make it clear that the book is complete.  For novels, you are wasting your time if you send a query letter before you have finished.

Doctor Query did not anticipate seeing such a good query so quickly on this site.  Congratulations.

I would look at this.

That is all.

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Published in: on October 22, 2009 at 5:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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