#8 – Sky Funeral

Dear Doctor Query:

Peter Grant had the good sense to retire from his stint as a Marine on permanent loan to the CIA while all his parts were still in working order. Fifteen years as the pointy end of Uncle Sam’s big stick earned Grant the right to a quiet life.

Then an old friend calls in a chit, asks a simple favor. Since Grant already has plans to visit Tibet, all he has to do is deliver a letter when he gets there. The recipient? A mole. A high-ranking officer in China’s People’s Liberation Army, commander of a top-secret military facility outside Lhasa.

Based on an intelligence officer’s assessment, Grant expects to find a self-important, avaricious traitor who’s lost his nerve. Instead, he meets Colonel Sun, a determined, principled man caught in the closing jaws of a State Security investigation. Sun requests exfiltration, a move that would threaten the existence of the Tibetan network.

Grant finds himself sucked into the vortex that swirls around clandestine operations gone bad. A State Security officer dogs the colonel’s steps, half a world away Chinese spies relentlessly dig for the truth, and the carefully woven shroud of subterfuge that protects the Tibetan underground begins to unravel. In the scramble to protect networks, operatives, and secrets, the interests of nations threaten to grind the Chinese agent under the wheel of necessity.

But, Grant doesn’t have to let it happen. He doesn’t work for the CIA anymore.

Deep in hostile territory, operating naked on the remote Tibetan plateau, Grant takes a risky gamble. He plots Colonel Sun’s escape, a hell-for-leather race to freedom.

The simple favor just got complicated.

I am seeking representation for SKY FUNERAL, a completed 90,000 word spy thriller, the first in a planned series. I have a master’s degree in aerospace engineering and a fourteen-year career in the defense industry. I’ve been a member of Pikes Peak Writers, Colorado Springs Fiction Writer’s Group, and Valencia Critique Group, and have attended numerous writing seminars, conferences, and classes.

This is very good.

You have given us a sense of urgency, and your voice has authority.  The query and the subject matter fit together, and your life experience makes a convincing argument that you could tell this story.  As a reader, I feel as though I would be in good hands with you.

The only thing I would do is tighten it up.  Take your seven paragraphs and try to turn them into three or four. Brevity is strength.

Then send it out!

That is all.

Doctor Query